Yes, you were supposed to sing that title to the tune of This Is Me by Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas from Camp Rock (what a jam).

As I sit here stringing together words with my fingertips I am singing this song on repeat in my head.

“This is real, this is me, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, now.”

Who knew such a lovely reminder, and just what I needed to hear would come from the anthem of my childhood?

Being stuck at home with the flu all last week, I had lots of time to sit back and really contemplate my life, my goals, my blog… Why am I doing this? What is my purpose? What do I want people to know me for? Why should people follow along? What do I want to accomplish?

During my weekly mental debrief to Presley (this is what I like to call it instead of a mental breakdown LOL, less harsh), I found myself questioning where I was headed, and if I was writing about/creating videos and content about what truly makes me happy, and as the person I am in real life - not through a screen. The answer? Yes… and no.

Time for a backstory:

In 2016 I found myself thrown into a world that was unfamiliar to me. The world of modeling/pageantry. I was 18 years old, all bright-eyed and excited for what was ahead of me; only to find out that it is a world of criticism, picking a person’s image apart, and destroying their self worth. Pageantry can be a great thing and it led to self discovery, many amazing opportunities to volunteer/give back to others and lots of wonderful friendships. But, it has its dark sides that I was not prepared for. I found myself fighting body image issues, over-working out/not eating enough, and dealing with serious mental struggles all because someone looked at me and told me my arms and thighs were too large (this was at the smallest size I had ever been, pure muscle, in the best shape of my life from playing sports all year round, having just graduated from high school)... I was a mess.

I took this struggle, and instead of letting it completely tear me down - I fought back. I fought back through love, positivity, and empowerment. I knew that in the world we live in today, it is not uncommon to find yourself comparing or picking yourself apart. It is sadly more common than not. We live in a world of instant gratification and everyone else’s seemingly perfect world at our fingertips. I used my pain and confusion to share with others that it is wonderful to learn to love who you are; the weird/good/bad/ugly/beautiful; to be proud of the skin you are in, in all stages of life. I used social media to promote self love and uplift others - and it was amazing! I received messages from women all over the country about how they could relate to the challenges of wanting to change the skin you're in. No one is alone in their struggles!!!

Now, six whole years later - it feels like a lifetime ago and like just yesterday all at the same time. I have graduated college, moved to a different state, and have begun to embark on THIS journey. The one you are reading right now…

Circling back to all of my life contemplating questions I asked myself while sick - what is the purpose of my blog/instagram content and what am I wanting to accomplish here? This answer is going to sound crazy… I WANT TO BE NORMAL!!!

Normal in the sense that I am just like the woman who blasts her favorite throwback songs on the drive home. Normal in the sense that I still have my days where my confidence wavers when my jeans are a little tighter than they were before. Normal in the sense that sometimes all I need is a good cry and some Starbucks. I want to be relatable. I want to be REAL! ME!

This last month I’ve found myself looking to the bloggers/influencers that I follow on social media for examples and inspiration to create things for my blog. But when I do, I find that I am mostly nothing like them. I don’t live in a picture perfect house, or drive a crazy expensive car, or spend all of my money on designer clothing and accessories, or have abs and a “perfect” body. Looking at these examples can make you feel down and that is where social media can be so dangerous.

I recently found a post I had saved on Instagram over a year ago. It was comparing “influencers” to “influential people”, and this hit me.

So what is my goal?To be normal!!!!

This goes out to anyone that compares themselves to those on social media. Lord knows I do it too! And if you’ve made it this far - THANK YOU! Because that means you’re a part of my community, and the reason I am doing this! It is time for me to get back to doing what I love. I want to build a community of uplifting, REAL people. I want to love the skin I am in. I want to workout because it feels good and I enjoy it and share my journey. I want to share a yummy salad recipe, just to turn around and have some ice cream… because that’s life! I want to buy a cute dress with pockets at a great price and share it because someone else might find some joy in it as well. I want to be weird/crazy/goofy because I know the people reading this are too in their own way. I want to promote body positivity and happiness, uniqueness, contentment, and self love because that is what sets my soul on fire!!!!!

Uplift.

Encourage.

This goes out to all the people like me. And as this new year rolls in faster than we can imagine, gym memberships skyrocket, and new goals are being set… here’s to not feeling the need to change ourselves. We are exactly where we’re supposed to be. Drink the champagne, eat the cake, work out because it feels good, be healthy to thank your body for all it does for you - not to change it, laugh at the confusion that is life, dance to your favorite song, take a bubble bath. LIVE. And appreciate normalness. It. Is. Beautiful.

Thanks for being here. Love y’all.

~Carley

This is Real, This is Me